It
was noon, the busiest time of day for Jim Skinner and his men. All around the
world, their empire ran deeper than anything else. Crowds of people surrounded their
palaces, each person waving crisp bills like maniacs. A window opened and the
first man stepped forward. After carefully staring towards the heavens, he
mustered the confidence to speak his request. “I’ll have a number three, with
no pickles and a large soda.”
The McDonald’s kingdom has thrived
for many years, starting long ago under Ray Kroc. In memory of the past kings,
Skinner created tens of thousands more palaces across the United States. At
these new man-feeders, people could relax, drink, and be merry. Every day,
hundreds of Americans would walk into Skinner’s beautiful palaces, enjoying the
beautiful bounty of burgers. However, the peace and tranquility that existed
would soon come to crashing halt.
A disastrous, disgusting disease
infected the cattle ranches that King Skinner used to fuel his glorious
palaces. This monstrous death-bringer would only infect the cows that were
within the McDonalds’ kingdom, although nobody was quite sure on the why. Each
night, as the ranchers went to sleep, the cows would slowly drop dead. One by
one, as if being tipped over by some invisible monster, the cows would fall
flat on their sides and lay there forever more. Their death-cries were hideous,
striking fear into the locals each night. This disease was destroying Skinner’s
kingdom from the inside.
Farmers around the kingdom called
their leader with concern, “I have no clue what is going on, sir! I go to bed,
wake up, and the cows are dead!” The palaces were running dry. They could no
longer sustain their people, for there was not enough beef for everyone. The
working men, who once rejoiced in the bounty of McDonald’s, found themselves
staying in the office eating eggplant and egg salad. Skinner’s men weren’t
getting customers, causing a loss of profit that would come out of their
paycheck. Dark times were setting over Skinner’s kingdom, and out of fear of a
revolt, he called in a favor.
The next morning, after losing 200
more cows, Skinner decided to make the phone call to the nearest kingdom,
Burger King. “Bernard? It’s Jim. Is your nephew by chance still studying to
become a veterinarian?” The nephew was a youthful, ambitious man looking to
prove himself in the medical world. Soon the two kings carried out a compromising
contract, and after a few days, the life-saver and his team from Burger King
arrived at McDonald’s headquarters.
“Halt!” barked the security guard.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” “I have been called in by Jim Skinner himself
to take care of your cow problem,” announced the guest. After the guard stepped
aside, the team made their way to Skinner’s office. It was a huge, beautiful
room. Paintings worth hundreds of thousands of dollars hung from every wall.
His desk, decorated with drawings of delicious deserts, stretched from wall to
wall. It was there that their task was explained to them.
“We’ve discovered that this disease
is actually a highly evolved form of the long extinct Bubonic Plague. Your job
is to find a cure for it and bring order back to McDonald’s. Do this, and I
will ensure that you are sent back home with half my kingdom’s riches and more
fame than Dr. Doolittle.” With that being said, the young vet set out with his
team to the nearest farm to wait for the disease to strike.
Upon arriving at the farmhouse, the
young men walked out the fields where the cattle were grazing. Armed with test
tubes, syringes, needles, and lab coats, the disease-fighters were prepared. The
beef-reviver quickly picked a cow, took its vital signs, and headed back to the
house. Before opening the door, he turned around to face his patients. “I
promise you all I will do what I can to protect you. You have the word of Blake
Wulf.” Blake entered the house only to be greeted with a feast of pizza, cake,
and beer. He quickly took the hint and joined his team and hosts in devouring
the food. Several hours later, after the sun had set, the men heard the
wretched moans from the cattle.
One man rushed outside and made his
way towards one of the dying cows. However, once he was there, the cow
immediately fell over right on top of him. Struggling for air, the man squirmed
and thrashed, but it was hopeless. The weight of the bovine crushed his rib
cage before he suffocated, marking the first human victim of the disease. Blake
wrapped himself in a pure white coat, and threw his medical utility belt around
his waist. He ran towards another cow, and quickly took a blood sample. Blood
gushed everywhere, but the animal-savior beat the hell-bringer and managed to
fill a test tube with the cows dying cells.
After
making his way back into the house, Blake set up his equipment and began to do
tests on the sample. After numerous experiments, the vet discovered the secret
behind it. Blake managed to break down the disease to its main components and
formulated a life-restorer. He had managed to find a way to defeat the disease,
and so he claimed victory. The vet sent his data back to Jim Skinner and
notified him immediately of the cure he had created. Blake Wulf, the beast-lover
from Burger King, had brought an end to the suffering within the McDonald’s
kingdom and restored peace and tranquility around the United States.
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